I feel like I only just started to get along with him like a brother. I know he saw me something like family but I was too afraid to fully reciprocate that kind of love, I'm sorry I never fully embraced it. You could never see how much you positively impacted everyone around you. You had an idea but you seem scared about how much you've grown on others. Maybe you have a better perspective now...? Hopefully it isn't so scary from wherever you are standing now. I think a lot of people hope they can leave even a speck of positivity behind and you, brother have gone above and beyond. More than that, you inspired them all, be proud.