It's quiet. Today was surpose to be a fun lively day but I don't think I can get myself to actually be happy. It feels so wrong. The person that gave me a community to be apart of, a home where I can feel at peace, and so much more is gone but I'm still here. I wish tonight could have been one of joy and laughter. Maybe in another life I am blowing my candles out with all my friends. Maybe in another life I am trying to bake a cake with Felix and my friend, the person who made me feel at home when I felt I had none, Markus. Maybe Markus would've been there when I woke up for what felt like an eternity without sleep, but sadly that is not the day I get to have. Markus deserved to go home to his husband and daughter. Fuck upper city.