I never understood how trauma and PTSD could truly affect a person. I can't sleep anymore normally. The world feels like TV static as I look towards my loved ones in fear of the next day they won't be there. There's no sunshine where I thought it would be. I. . .I don't understand this feeling. I have always locked away that feeling of being traumatized. Those emotions that I feel just. .never knew how to process. The world hated those going through things as they thought them as a liability. People who are broken don't belong fighting or being around. But now I see so many with those same things I do. . .I feel so normal. . .but how do you get through freezing. .hearing sounds and expecting horns and alarms going off. You panic. You fight like it's the last day you have left. My heart beats so fucking quickly. I can't help but just. . . . .I'm screaming and breaking for once. . . .Even my poke'mon are worried and I can't even comfort them. Each day I fight is feeling more like a blur. I can't stop now. . .till Upper falls for all those they have taken from us. They use my driver and weapon against others. I. .I hope try to sleep soon. . .maybe..